As I leave my office in Baghdad, Iraq, I am saddened by my surroundings. Not because of the hardships that I endure, because other than missing my family, things aren't so bad. I am saddened by my compassion for the Iraqis and any other country or culture that has to endure such devastation in order to gain freedom. I will never see combat in the way that many of my peers have seen combat. I will probably never have to shoot at anyone and likely never have to really fear for my life. There is always the chance that the area that I am located in will get hit by direct or indirect fire but chances are, I will never have to worry about that.

I recently went "outside the wire" on a trip to another area in Iraq. I traveled via a convoy on this occasion because the weather was not favorable for a helicopter, which is my normal mode of travel. During this trip I was acutely aware of my surroundings and couldn't help but notice the utter devastation and destruction of the town that we traveled through. Buildings that had been bombed and were falling down. Children running and playing in what can only be described as rubble and trash. Windows broken or missing were the norm. It was such a sad sight that I could only stare in wonder and think about the people that once called this place home. The collection of Army bases that occupy a portion of Baghdad is the size of a city. What happened to the people that once lived here? Where are they now?

It's very easy to label outsiders as bad and justify whatever we do for the sake of democracy...and I do believe in democracy. However, it is important for everyone to understand that democracy as we know it, is a very new concept. The United States of America is a very young society and we enjoy a life that others don't really understand and often don't want. The many countries and kingdoms in the middle east are very old societies that have existed for thousands of years. They have a way of life that we don't understand and can't imagine having to live. According to our standards, the women are treated poorly and the children often aren't educated. We often forget that this is normal to them in many cases. They still love their children and lead happy lives. Why do they often hate Americans? Well, let me answer a question with a question. If a country invaded your streets and homes, regardless of whether or not they had good intentions, would you welcome them with open arms...or would you want your life back?

I am very proud to say that I am an American. I am so lucky to have been born in such a culture that allows me to have freedom to do as I wish and to chase my dreams. Even as I sit in my room I am appreciative of all of the comforts that I am provided because I am an American. I don't have to worry about where I am going to sleep or if I am going to eat. I have access to phones and have Internet in my room. I send and receive mail. I can go shopping or watch movies if I choose. As I enjoy my comforts, it is always in the back of my mind that only a few hundred meters away, on the other side of the wall, there are children playing in piles of rubble, and mothers that wonder whether or not there will be food to feed them later. We should never lose sight of what we have and always appreciate the good things in our lives. We should be very careful when we judge others and even if we don't agree with them, be willing and able to see things from their perspective. It will only make us stronger and better able to defend our positions...or maybe understand why we should, in some situations, just let go.

The Smell of Coffee

As I sit here at Camp As Sayliyah, in the very hot country of Qatar, I think of one very simple thing that has been constant throughout my life, no matter where my travels have taken me.

The smell of coffee. It has an amazing calming effect on me and I have to sit and ponder why. I think that it represents a little bit of normalcy in a life that most wouldn't consider normal. I am in a foriegn land away from my family, and yet, the smell of coffee first thing in the morning is exactly the same. I yearn for my home, my kitchen table at 6:15am, which (in my other life) is when I would sit in the kitchen and drink my coffee and check my emails. I get up a little earlier than I have to, just so that I can enjoy my ritual in peace. Well, it doesn't exactly work that way all the time. When you have two toddlers in your home, chances are that someone is going to interrupt my morning with a request like "Mama hold me", "Pauly coffee?(I convince my 2 year old that hot chocolate is his coffee so he doesn't try to take mine)", or sometimes the request is simply "Spongebob Squarepants". Though I love to hold my little boys and love that they want to share the morning with me...sometimes I really hope for the "Spongebob Squarepants" request. Then I can go back to my coffee and my peace...even if only for a moment.

I can't ever remember not smelling coffee in the morning. When I lived with my mama and stepfather, there was always coffee in the coffee pot. When I joined the Marine Corps the smell was always there. Visiting my dad and stepmom in Panama City Beach, Fl, I get the same feeling of calm when I smell this magical drink. In the last 11 years, I have lived in more places than I care to remember and I have come to realize that the simple things, such as the smell of coffe, can make a house feel like a home. Even when I am in Iraq, a country devastated and completely torn apart by war, the smell of coffee reminds me of home. I can smile and relax, thinking of happy times and comfort. I think not only the past, but of the future as well. Soon, I will be drinking my coffee at home again, at 6:15 in the morning, enjoying my family and my everyday life yet again.

Introduction

Today is the first day of the rest of my life! I believe that I have heard that somewhere before and I thought today would be an appropriate time to use that phrase.

I am an active duty U.S. Marine that is currently forward deployed. My husband is in the Navy (and also deployed). We have 2 little boys together, ages 15 months and 2 years old. I also have 2 stepsons that are 13 and 8. We usually reside in Lemon Grove, CA...though it's getting a little harder to remember what my house looks like. I think that my husband left my car at my house, where my nanny is temporarily staying while we are gone, but I can't really be sure. I guess I should ask her if it's there.

I am interested in many things and will probably write about them as I get time. I am pretty knowledgeable about family, children, CHILDBIRTH, fitness, arts and crafts, travel, the war(s), the military, women's issues, sports, Arabic flies, and many, many other topics. I have recently become much more interested in politics than ever before. Common sense is something that belongs in government but is rarely present. This will probably be mentioned in most of my posts.

Some random things about me...
I have very little will power. I hate to diet. I love to spend money...though I don't love to shop in the traditional sense. I am very impulsive. I am usually too honest. I love my kids. I have many unfinished projects. I love "hands on" work. I am probably overpaid. I am often underestimated at first. I love my family and my friends. I don't like the effort that it often takes to meet new people. I change my hair all the time. I wear a size 12 but would really love to be a size 10. I am an extrovert and I thrive off of the people around me. If I am alone for too long I might just go a little crazy. I am a little crazy anyway. Funny things happen to me all the time. I read the news multiple times a day. I love to read novels and write in first person. I win almost every argument that I take part in. I know everything.

This is going to be fun, I can feel it!